I Was Obese for 25 Years - And a Binge Eating Mastermind

I want to be clear from the start: I’m not glorifying binge eating. It’s a serious issue that so many people quietly struggle with. I’m just sharing my honest experience of it - and the only way I can do that without it sounding unbearably bleak is by poking fun at myself along the way.

I didn’t just binge eat. I had a system. Some people meal prep for the week… I meal prepped my bad decisions.

Years later, after I’d already lost the weight, I came across a list of binge eating disorder symptoms and realised I ticked every single one. So no, a doctor never officially diagnosed me - but I basically did it myself.

Anyway, here’s how past-me turned binge eating into something that could rival a corporate training manual.

My old version of science

The Binge Playbook

The “Spread Out The Shame” Method

My go-to strategy: don’t buy everything in one shop. That would look suspicious. Instead, I’d visit several different shops, buying just a few binge items in each. It was less of a grocery run and more of a covert operation.Sometimes I’d even order from two different pizza places on the same night and pray the delivery guys wouldn’t bump into each other outside.

The “Pre-Binge Warm-Up”

Before a big binge, I’d often eat something I considered “healthy” first. The logic was flawless: if I had a salad before inhaling a tub of ice cream, a multipack of crisps, and a family-sized bar of chocolate, it somehow balanced out.

The “Pre-Binge Shopping Checklist”

This was an art form. I’d carefully curate a mix of sweet and savoury, aiming for the perfect balance that would keep me going until the inevitable self-hatred phase. Honestly, I could’ve put Michelin-star chefs to shame with the amount of detail I put into this.

The Binge

Then came the main event: get into my loosest clothes, set up camp on the couch, and eat until I was in a food coma. If I couldn’t move, that meant I’d done it right. Of course, the real pro move was waiting 20 minutes and then squeezing in some more.

Sweet, savoury, and self-loathing: The Holy Trinity

Some people meal prep for the week.... I meal prepped my bad decisions.

The “Science” of Justifying a Binge

I didn’t just binge, I had a PhD in justifying binges.

“I’ve Earned This” (The Gym Delusion)

I cycled for 20 minutes earlier - that means I can eat whatever I want, right? Bonus justification: being sick. If I had a cold, obviously the cure was eating like a medieval king at a never-ending feast.

“The Great Deal Excuse”

I only wanted one box of Pringles. But it was three for €5. It would’ve been financially irresponsible not to buy all three. Never mind that I wasn’t saving money, just committing to a bigger binge later.

“Might as Well Go All In” (All-or-Nothing Mentality)

The classic: I had one cookie, so the diet’s ruined anyway. May as well eat the whole pack.

“Diet Starts Monday” (The Infinite Reset Button)

If I’m going to be “good” next week, I have to eat all the bad food now. That’s just how science works.

“Borrowing Calories from Future Me”

The genius plan: binge today, starve tomorrow. Spoiler - tomorrow never went well.

This isn't overeating..... this is economics.

Diet starts Monday: The infinite reset button.

The Signs of Binge Eating Disorder

It wasn’t until years after I’d lost the weight that I came across an article on binge eating disorder. Reading it was like seeing my own autobiography written out in bullet points.

• Eating more rapidly than normal? Yep. I’d start out savouring it, but with piles of food in front of me, that didn’t last long.

• Eating until uncomfortably full? Every time. If I wasn’t close to vomiting, was it even a binge?

• Eating large amounts when not hungry? Hunger had nothing to do with it.

• Eating alone out of embarrassment? Absolutely. The thought of someone watching me demolish that much food was mortifying.

• Feeling disgusted or guilty afterward? Every single time. Especially when I was 17 or 18, gaining weight so fast that new clothes barely lasted a few months, stretch marks showed up everywhere, and the scale just kept climbing.

That list hit hard. I hadn’t just been overeating sometimes. I’d been stuck in a cycle that explained so much of my teenage years and early 20s.

Eating alone out of embarrassment? Absolutely. The thought of someone watching me demolish that much food was mortifying.

Why I Still Struggle Sometimes

Even now, over a decade later, binge urges haven’t completely disappeared. The difference is, I know how to manage them. My diet these days is built on high-protein, high-fibre foods, which makes things easier.

That said, there are still triggers:

• Alcohol: I don’t drink much anymore, but if I’m at a concert or on holiday, the next day my stomach turns into a bottomless pit.

• Christmas: This one is still my worst. Every year I gain 4-8 pounds without fail. Between the endless food, the constant celebrations, and drinking more in that one month than in the other eleven combined, it’s basically the perfect storm for binge eating. I’ve stopped fighting it and just accept as a “holiday tradition.”

  The difference now is that, with more than a decade of experience managing my weight, I don’t panic about it anymore. I know January is when I knuckle down, get consistent again, and shift the Christmas weight back off. It’s not effortless, but it’s a process I trust - which makes the whole thing feel manageable rather than a disaster.

A holiday tradition: 4-8 bonus lbs.

Christmas is basically the perfect storm for binge eating.

Closing

So yeah, if you’ve ever planned a binge better than you’ve planned a holiday, you’re not alone.

If any of this feels uncomfortably familiar, know that you’re not broken - binge eating is something so many people go through but rarely talk about. I still struggle sometimes, but the difference is I know how to bounce back now instead of spiralling.

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